I wanna bring you to show and tell
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
