The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
