Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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