She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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