i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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