Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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