dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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