its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
