and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
