Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
