i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
