Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
