nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
