Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
