Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
