I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
