We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
