Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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