Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
