So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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