i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
