Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
There are leaves in my underwear?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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