everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Panties = found
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
