Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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