So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
