Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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