when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
