he shaved USA in his pubs
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
