the new term for farting is butt boxing.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
