Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
jump out the window naked night went bad
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
