You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm too high and old for this...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
