this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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