WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
