I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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