Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
