I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
