I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
