through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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