i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
