I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
