Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
