The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
