so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
