what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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