That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
