I'm really into asian looking animals
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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