I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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