Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
