"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Randomize
