Ambien. No doubt about it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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